Humorous, Life

Don’t you just hate it when

Remember this post? And this one? Gosh I used to yap on and on about things that irritate me on a daily basis. This is just a friendly reminder that I have not turned into a happy sunshiny fra-la-la-la-la kind of person. So here goes – my most recent pet peeves and no it does not take much to get my rage going.

So you at work. You get an email addressed to your whole group. Someone and there is always that one person that decides to hit Reply All. This then quickly spirals out of control. Someone else (and there is always that one angry colleague) will inform everyone to please not hit reply all. At this stage there might be another idiot or two also begging us all please not to reply all. The average worker now thinks s/he is the CEO and does not have time for these silly emails and expresses him/herself. I read every single email. The whole thing just becomes hilarious. Doesn’t make it less annoying though.

Can all please just for once go out with our friends and not turn it into a photo shoot frenzy? I am trying to have a meal. I am trying to have a decent conversation with good friends. It’s great to capture these moments. But every single moment? C’mon guys, please don’t post and tag that photo of me stuffing my face. Please don’t force me to smile whilst I’m supposed to be busy chewing my food. For once can we just hang out like normal people? I do not want a play-by-play of my entire night on Facebook either. I want to go out and enjoy myself and not think of technology just for a wee bit. D’ya think you can do that?

Which brings me to my next point – do not text or even look at your phone when you are out with friends or family. I get it sometimes you need to reply to an urgent message but certainly not every 2 minutes. I find it extremely rude to talk to someone who is constantly checking their phone or sending texts. Hey, guess what? Here is a real live girl sitting across from you. She would love to speak to you especially since she bothered to wash, get dressed and come outside to play for a change.

I’ve written about Facebook before – here’s my current list of vein-popping pet peeves. One could ask why do I even bother with Facebook but that’s a question we can tackle another day.

  • Change to a pink Facebook. Huh??
  • What is your mood today? I don’t think you want to know.
  • What is your love level? Come closer and I’ll show you.
  • What is the meaning of your name? As if I care.
  • My pic rank has been updated. When? How? By whom?
  • Someone answered a question about you? Great! Despite the fact that I haven’t seen you in 10 years and can vaguely remember you. It’s good to know I made an impact on your life and that you know so much about me. It’s quite possible you know me better that I know myself. Who needs an identity crises with ‘friends’ like these?
  • Here is your horoscope for today? What does it all mean? Let’s get high and reflect on the tides and the phase of the moon.
  • A new fortune cookie has been delivered to you. It has? What does it say? I’m intrigued. Not!

PS. I don’t care who views my profile either.

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Humorous, Life

Don’t you just hate it when…

you start telling a really great story and a friend or colleague comes along and hijacks your story. This is also known as stealing your thunder and it’s generally frowned upon. I’m convinced they can somehow sense/smell when someone is telling a story just so that they can upstage you.

I just want to know why they feel compelled to interrupt you and tell everyone a similiar (apparently better version) of your story. No matter what you say they’ve been there, done that. Even when your story story sounds far-fetched, their story will be in a different reality or quite spossibly an alternate universe. It is impossible to out-do them try as you might.

DISCLAIMER: A word of warning to all thunder stealers out there, I’m watching, I’m waiting and I will not be held responsible if you need to start teething again.

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Life

Don’t you just hate it when

you wake up on a Sunday morning happy that you can sleep in only to realise that it is actually Monday morning and you are going to be sooooo late for work if you don’t get your ass out of bed ASAP. This realisation creeps up on you slowly, you first get the feeling that something isn’t quite right but as you snuggle under your blankets you can’t figure out exactly why you’re feeling anxious. And then it hits you IT IS MONDAY and all your hopes and dreams crumble in an instant. Why oh why do you have to get up and why oh why must the weekend always end so soon?

On the flip side however don’t you just love it when the reverse happens: you wake up with a feeling of dread for the coming day and as you get out of bed thinking it’s Monday you realise it’s Sunday and this warm feeling starts radiating from the centre of your being and you have never felt this happy in your life as you do at that exact moment.

PS Enjoy work this coming week.

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Humorous

Don’t you just hate it when…….

……colleagues say “Aw you look like a girl today”? This is one of my major pet peeves. What exactly are they implying? That I look like a boy or the dogs breakfast all the other days? I don’t like wearing make up often and I love my sneakers, but the minute I wear a dress and put on some eye pencil and gloss (that is the extent of my make up) people start acting stupid around me. This first question is followed by a second and even more annoying question “So what’s his name?” Ok so now you saying that I only make myself pretty for a man?

Maybe I need to lighten up or maybe you all just need a nice warm glass of shut the hell up.

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comedy, Humorous, Life

Don’t you just hate it when

As I have shared something positive today, it’s time to go back to my roots. Today I’ve got a little bonus for my readers (all 4 of them, you guys know who you are). I have 3 ‘don’t you just hate it whens’ today gotta make up for lost time you know, I haven’t posted anything new since last week.

1) So don’t you just hate it when you go into a store and the sales people hover around you asking if you need help, if I needed help I would call you. Sometimes it’s so bad that I feel uncomfortable and am then too self-conscious to touch anything lest my dirty grubby fingers soils their merchandise. And the attitude of some of ’em you’d think they own the store.

2) Maybe I can still deal with the shop assistants but the waiters who just as you about to take a bite from your triple-decker burger wants to know if you enjoying your meal  so you look up sheepishly with your mouth gaping and nod yes or even worse you’ve already bitten off more than you can chew and you need to mumble a response. I’m convinced they enjoy some sick sadistic pleasure doing that. (any service industry people reading this please oh please don’t spit in my food)

3) And don’t you just hate it when people and by people I mean annoying friends and colleagues send you chain letter emails. Especially those of the religious kind telling you to forward on to 10 friends and if you don’t you going to be cursed for the rest of your life and burn in hell. Excuse me but when did any of the prophets have access to the internet or email. Yes, they could speak to God but that was it, so please don’t tell me this letter has been circulating since before 1400 B.C or before the time of the burning bush. And no I will not send the “candle” to my friends if this so-called “candle” managed to make it around the world in 80 days well then it can continue to do so without me.

Oh well that’s just me.

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Life

Don’t you just love it when

After so many ‘don’t you just hate it when’ posts I thought I’d share something I love. I wouldn’t want people to think I’m a completely intolerant person, cos really I’m not.

You know when you go to your cupboard to get out your coat or jacket or a pair of jeans you haven’t worn in a while, you reach into your pocket and you feel paper. Frowning and wondering what could it be? And it turns out it’s money, paper money (like a R100), YAY!!!! It’s like a birthday gift and christmas gift all rolled into one.

That just puts a smile on my face.

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Humorous, Life

Don’t you just hate it when

you get phone calls from cellphone providers trying to sell you a contract. I’ve already sold my soul once to these blood sucking leeches, why would I punish myself again? I get a call like this at least once a week and it goes like this:

Cellphone Provider (hereafter known as CP): Good day, is this Miss Links?

SL: Yes? ( I answer cautiously)

CP: Can I have a few minutes of your time?

SL: Erm not really I’m very busy at work

CP: Don’t worry Miss this will only take a minute (Lies, all lies)

CP: I’m calling from T mobile and I’d like to tell you about our amazing offer that you and only 11 other people in the country have qualified for (More lies).

SL: OK?

CP: For only R179 p/m you will receive a brand new Nokia with 5mp camera (erm hello my current phone is 10mp) as well as R1 000 Game vouchers (as if I ever shop at Game) and a really neat key chain (who are these people trying to kid?)

SL: I’ve already got a cellphone contract, thanks.

CP: But you always need another.

SL: Not really.

CP: May I ask which network you are with?

SL: MTN.

CP: How much are you currently paying and what does your current package offer you?

SL: I’d rather not say, that’s personal.

CP: Well Miss I’m sure we can top what you currently getting.

SL: Look I’m happy with what I have.

CP: I understand but for R179 you get free minutes, sms bundles, data bundles.

SL: I really can’t afford that. (Who does this guy think he is? my financial advisor?)

CP: It’s not alot of money, you’ll gain so much more (really persistent and getting agitated with me)

At this point I’m ready to slam the phone down but remain polite as I have family and friends who work in call centres and I know how hard it can be. That being said I really do need to terminate this call.

SL: Thank you so much for your time and the call but at this stage I cannot commit myself to spending more money on a phone and contract that I don’t need. Enjoy the rest of your day.

And then I realise I’m listening to a dial tone, CP has already hung up and I’m like WTF!

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