Life

The now

So the retrenchment possibility became a reality and I spent my time at home studying for my first semester exams. I have spent the time off looking for work but to no avail. For some reason buyer jobs are not that easy to find. I am either over or under qualified and I have received so many rejection letters from retailers that my skin has thickened considerably.

In the interim I took a call centre job at a well-known airline company and what started out as something promising quickly turned into a nightmare toxic work environment. It quickly became known to me that I was the victim of some nasty rumours and was being bullied by two grown up females. Now I know what you might be thinking, you’re an adult, so are they, just confront them. Unfortunately these are not the type of people you confront. They will see any sort of reasoning as a personal attack. I figured if I ignored them for long enough they would eventually tire and grow bored as all bullies do. Alas no, they just kept at it. Then I did something I have never done in my entire working life, I quit, with immediate effect and walked out same day. I felt free and at peace with my decision.

The next day I awoke and had a freak out, I was unemployed and had bills to pay and I really did not want to lose my car. I love my car. I just got her. I feared separation anxiety. Thankfully I did not have to worry to long because shortly after, I received a call from a company that interviewed me recently and offered me a job as homeware buyer. To say I was relieved would be an understatement. I felt blessed and extremely thankful. My months of stress and anxiety has finally come to an end or at best this is a reprieve from constantly worrying. So new job, new beginnings and I can now focus on getting that degree done now that I have one less thing to worry about.

This post can in no way explain what the year so far as been like. It has been an emotional roller-coaster. Losing my job, being rejected from numerous companies seriously affected my self-esteem and self confidence. I doubted myself too often. Taking a job where I earned way way less than I was used to in order to make ends meet was tough and almost soul-destroying. Especially in an environment I was not used to where professionalism and basic manners seemed to be optional.

I know that I would not have made it through this difficult time without the support of my family and friends and their unwavering faith in me. They have been and will always be my fiercest cheerleaders. Now I look forward to something new. I look forward to proving myself in my new job, because it is something I am good at. I look forward to the next phase in my life.

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Uncategorized

Changes

It is now just over a year that I have returned from living in Bangkok for a year. Time flies. Bangkok is now a fleeting memory and I yearn to go back. I also celebrate my one year anniversary at my current job. I never would have thought I would enjoy being a corporate drone again. I also however know that this is not something that I can do long term. I am always looking out for the next adventure or challenge.

For the past year I have been working as the home and appliances buyer at South African online retailer. For the first in a really long time I can say that I love my job. Obviously not everyday single day is all rainbows and unicorns but for the most part I enjoy what I do. I fell into a comfort zone of sorts and when they offered to make me permanent as I was on contract I gladly accepted. I even bought myself a car.

I still think about travelling all the time though and I do have an exit strategy all planned out or so I thought. Two weeks ago my company made a huge announcement that they will be merging with an up and coming online retailer. A deafening silence settled over our offices when the announcement was made. There is a good chance that of us will be retrenched and unemployed by the beginning of the new year. My carefully crafted 5 year plan went up in smoke. After the shock and panic wore off, I decided that it was best to remain positive, I work hard and there should be no reason for me to keep my job after the merger. I also thought that if I am let go that this could be an opportunity for me to study full time. With my degree out of the way I will be able to go work in Dubai and start travelling again. Which is what I want anyway – this way I might just get there sooner.

So I guess not all bad news is bad news it could end up being the best thing that happened me. Who knows. I will just have to wait and see what happens. Nothing in life is certain and change is the only constant.

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Life

Less is more…than enough

To tell you the truth I am exhausted. In my quest to keep busy until I leave has bit me in the ass as I knew it would. The past six months has seen me juggling motorbike lessons, learning how to swim, starting a new degree and finishing half of my 1st year subjects, mentoring a teenage girl who lives in a children’s home, continuing my Italian lessons and trying to find time to meet my Italian friend when I can so that I can practise.  All this and still working a 9 to 5, just writing it all down exhausts me.

So yes apparently I can’t do it all. Seeing as the past 6 months were so chaotic I’m going to take the next 6 very slowly. I’m going to eliminate  as much activity as possible. Taking on too much can be extremely stressful and detrimental to your health, trust me. I’ve been getting sick, spraining things and suffering from more headaches than I usually do.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to do absolutely nothing because I am addicted to learning. I’ve got a photography course that starts in a month that I am looking forward to with fast forward photography. So I’ve just got to figure out what to cut out of my life but for now I am just going to take it easy and watch Friends re-runs.

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