Books, Humorous

Reading: not for the faint-hearted

Nobody tells you that people who love reading and I mean really love reading are a little bit obsessive about well reading I guess. There are a few things that we do, ok sorry that I do. But maybe some of you have experienced one if not all of the below chronic symptoms:

I realise one chapter into the book that I hate it but feel obligated to finish reading because I’m curious just to see how it ends. Even when the writing is really bad and the plot cheesy.

After realising I hate the book I resign myself to the fact that I am going to finish it and would never dream of reading the last page to see how it ends – that’s cheating and there are very strict rules about this. Flipping to the end does not guarantee I will have a clue what has happened and I might have to back track and prolong my misery even further.

If I have however started reading a book that I love and can not put it down from the first syllable I will torture myself to finish it. Torture will include:

Reading until 1am, looking at the time and saying to myself “If I go sleep now I still have 5 hours of sleep”. This countdown continues until I only have 1 hour of sleep left, I blink and before I can count any sheep my alarm for work goes off.

I will continue reading even when the conditions in my surrounding environment worsens eg. diminishing daylight but will refuse to get up and put on the light. If a family member or friend walks by and (upon finding me squinting in the dark) turns on the light I usually exhibit vampire-like behaviour. My pupils will go into shock but I will also be relieved and amazed at how bright the light is.

When I discover a new writer I literally smile inside and wonder A) Have I been living under a rock all these years and B) What other books does this writer have so that I can devour it all in one sitting.

I have the ability to read very fast by skimming over words I don’t need which includes ‘is’, ‘the’, ‘of’, ‘at’, etc. The faster I can read the more I can read, it’s called greed. I know it becomes a problem when I ignore all calls and don’t answer the door.

I lose track of time, hours sometimes even days it’s almost like blacking out. I lose the ability to function at full capacity. At some point I have to force myself to eat or go to the bathroom. Once I’ve reached this stage it will be too late to save me. All I ask is to please scatter my ashes in the local library.

Finishing a book also never truly satisfies me especially one that I am enjoying. I start becoming anxious when I know the adventure is almost over and know that the only way to overcome that empty, hollow, lost feeling is to find another good book and fast.

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comedy, TV series

Anxiously awaiting House season 8

I don’t know about the rest of you but I seriously cannot wait for House season 8. Dr. Gregory House left us on a bit (read: major) of a cliffhanger in season 7 and he left us wondering if he has finally lost it. His ability to alienate the only people  who care about him is scary to watch and as someone who already suffers from the occasional anxiety attack this does not help me, not at all. And with his Vicodin addiction quite possibly spiralling out of control AGAIN, I just wish that he gives up on those little pills that he treats like candy. It is weird that one can miss a fictional character who is so cynical and absurd.

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Food, Life, movies

Must. Love. Sushi.

If you wanna know how to take your addiction to the next level then keep reading. And by next level I don’t mean growing pot in your backyard or running a meth lab from your garage.  My addiction is sushi, I love sushi! Something I discovered 4 years ago and don’t know how I survived without it most of my adult life. So like any obsessed addict I needed to be able to get my fix whenever I wanted it. ENTER. Subarshi. A sushi bar in Cape town who offered a beginner class at R250. Sadly they have now closed down but Florentines in Claremont also offers sushi classes for anyone who is interested.

All ingredients are given to you in the class but below is what you will need if you make your sushi at home:

Must have a very sharp knife cos cutting layers of avo takes precision – and when I say sharp think of Kevin Costener cutting Whitney Houston’s scarf in The Bodyguard with his ninja sword.

Rice to be prepared the night before – this will make it easier and less sticky to work with – Pick n Pay sells sushi rice and its easy enough to prepare. You will need to buy rice vinegar as well. Other condiments that you’ll need is wasabi, pickled ginger and mayo for sushi.

Next place your nori sheets (seaweed) on rolling mat and cut nori in half. You only need half a sheet of nori to make one roll. Now you will spread a layer of rice and add any other goodies you like e.g. salmon, prawn, avo, cream cheese even sticky buffalo wings if thats your thing. You can pretty much do what you want but its still good to go to a class for the basics.

We got taught how to make salmon roses, cream cheese maki,prawn nigiri, rainbow roll and a california roll – Which I must say looked and tasted good. Yes I made that – hard to believe hey.

After making it a few times at home after class I realised that even though its easy to make it takes too damn long and I don’t have the patience. So I’ve practically got my fave sushi bars on speed dial.

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