I once, not too long ago, lost something precious to me. Something of value that cannot be measured. An unequivocal belief. An unquestioning faith. I raged against God, pleaded with him.
Awash with guilt and shame, I wondered how I could go from having faith in God to not having any. It was one of my darker phases of my life. I doubted his existence. When too many sad things happens in ones life all at once it does not always mean that it will bring you closer to Him. In fact in can pull you further away.
But for a while now and even more so now since moving to Thailand though I have become more serious and constant in my prayers and this has brought me immense comfort and peace of mind. I don’t have all the answers and I don’t need to control every minute of my life. I now know and believe without a shadow of doubt that he has been watching over me all this time, waiting to welcome me back into his arms.