comedy, Humorous

Which blogger are you? A sort of parody

1. The personal blogger – they tend to drone on and on about the daily going ons in their lives and isn’t a blog just the perfect platform to force feed their readers another story about that horrible colleague with the halitosis? No one cares about that strange rash you have. Over-share much? It’s like sneaking a peek into someones diary, creepy.

2. The fashion blogger – Doting boyfriends who trail after their girlfriends taking pictures of their clothes. Everyday!?! Have you nothing better to do? I do so envy your fabulous life though – free clothes, international fashion shows, you even have give-aways and competitions (how neat) and thanks so much for those helpful make-up tutorials I don’t know how I would have applied my mascara otherwise.

3. The travel blogger – wait no this is the blogger I envy. Exotic far-flung places and free accommodation? What a great combination. Please let me stay at your establishment for free. I promise I’ll write you a stellar review for all 10 of my readers. Apparently it is possible, we can all live this life. Seriously, we can’t all be travel writers. It is not really possible for every Joe Blogg to sustain a lifestyle based purely on travel and writing. You make it sound so easy but the truly succesful travel bloggers has secondary means of income.

4. The amateur photographer blogger – oh see this lovely picture I took of a spoon in Rome. Look at how the angle of the light is reflecting off the spoon. Marvelous isn’t it? Who would have thought something so simple could be so beautiful? Now look at this blade of grass. See how I captured its essence. Anyone with an iPhone, SLR or even just a regular point and shoot can now go pro. Annie Leibovitz? I could teach her a thing or two.

5. The mommy blogger – the morning school runs, the nanny/maid issues, the paranoia, the non-existent sex life, your kids bowel movements. No topis is taboo. Motherhood is so hard but I make this s@#t look easy. Just stop trying to be superwoman, kids are more resilient than we give them credit for.

6. The serious writer blogger – no funny posts here. I’m trying to get published dammit.  I’m such a tortured artist. Nobody understands me. I’m going on a hunger strike. Buy my e-book in the meantime though – only $2.00, paypal accepted.

7. The foodie blogger – your grandmother whispered the secret family recipe to you on her deathbed? Well kudos for posting on your blog. I’m sure she’ll be so proud of you. Also stop enticing me with photos of perfectly prepared dishes. I know that if I try it will look nothing like yours. I do not have a direct link to Nigella like you. In fact I live on toast and cereal, this is all a bit much for me. Too much work and I ‘d rather just go to my favourite restaurant and order whatever I feel like eating. Much easier.

8. The self-help guru blogger – if your life is in shambles look no further. I’ll show you how to change your life and be the happy person you deserve to be in 12 easy steps. No this is not AA but follow this link if you do have a drinking problem.

9. The cat blogger – stories of your cat, pictures of your cat, guest post by your cat using its furry little paws. Catwoman was sexy. You? Not so much.

10. The financial adviser blogger – yes you too can have financial peace of mind.  Not only will I show you how to become debt free and save for that rainy day but I’ll show how I made millions by investing, playing with the stock market and even insider trading. No it’s not all illegal and in fact it’s all the rage these days.

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Uncategorized

Before and after and before again

Well now that my cellphone is in for repairs I’m going to see how long I can last without one. I must be honest I am not missing it that much but it’s still early days and I’ll see how I feel after a week. I must say I am rather dependant on my phone, my whole life is on there as some people might say but maybe the break from it will do me good. This co-dependant relationship I have with technology can be a bit unhealthy sometimes.

I remember a time when if people couldn’t get hold of you on your landline they just had to keep trying.

I remember a time when only an elite few actually had answering machines and cellphones, now even 8 year olds have cellphones.

I remember a time when I actually bought phone cards to be used at public phone booths.

I remember a time when I knew phones numbers by heart.

I remember a time when if you went out with anyone you had their full attention – no beeping distractions.

I remember a time when people didn’t seem to talk to themselves whilst walking in the streets. Wireless headsets has made it hard to distinguish between normal people and the crazies.

I remember a time when phones were only used to phone people. Computers were used to send emails and internet, cameras were used to take pictures and Walkman’s were used to listen to music.

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adventures, Books, Humorous, Life

10 Things I miss about being 10 years old

1. Books were so magical it was like being transported to another time and place.

2. Keeping fit was easy especially when I played games in the road everyday: 3 sticks, dodgeball, hopscotch, skipping rope, cartwheels, hand stands, the list is endless.

3. Board games, pillow fights and building blanket castles that kept me entertained for hours.

4. Old school tv games: Tetris, Islander, Bomberman, Super Mario Bros. (at least now I know Mario and Luigi are Italian) – I find Playstation, Xbox’s and Wii’s a bit overwhelming.

5. Not worrying about my sugar intake: toffee apples, candy floss, curly cones.

6. I wasn’t always sarcastic and cynical well not until after I reached the age of 12.

7. The ability to survive without a cellphone in fact not even knowing what a cellphone is.

8. Having a cute 4-year-old brother who at that time didn’t annoy me as he does now at the age of 23.

9. Any family outing was like an adventure to unknown lands just waiting to be discovered.

10. An unshakeable belief that my mother and grandmother could do anything, invincible pillars of strength with a multitude of superpowers.

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Life

My curriculum vitae aka the quilt

A quilt is traditionally composed of three layers, it  is distinguishable because it is pieced together from several pieces – modified definition to suit my purposes.

This is what I think my CV look likes – I’ve had 7 ‘real’ jobs before the age of 30. Back in the day when people finished school and started working for a company it was for good. You started in your early 20’s and worked until retirement, loyalty to the company and all that. These days however people today (myself included) our loyalties are really only to ourselves.

Speaking for myself I’m curious by nature, always wanting to learn something and I get bored easily. This is why after a year in any job I’m just about ready to move on to the next thing although generally I stay in a post for 2 years at most. People are always making this big deal about moving around too much and telling you how bad it looks that you can never seem to stay in one job long enough.

What’s so bad about having a diverse working background? You probably better equipped to come up with solutions because you can be more objective and your knowledge and experience is not restricted to one industry/field.

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Life

When you fail to plan, you plan to fail

It’s amazing how we all perceive things differently or how other people perceive us. I had an interesting conversation with my aunt a few nights ago and she mentioned that I always seem to be planning for my future and not living in the present. One has to appreciate and be grateful for what you have in your life now and not worry too much about what might or could happen. I agree, but I can only agree up until a point.

I have so many dreams (always daydreaming with my head in the clouds) and to realise any dream it takes hard work and well…a bit of planning. I’ve also only recently come to the realisation where my passions lie and I am following a path a never thought I would. I guess I do think too much but not to be able to dream and plan would kill me, slowly. I’m open to taking risks now whereas before I’ve always played it safe.

There are so many things that I am enjoying this year: my intermediate Italian classes, riding a motorbike, swimming (don’t know how I functioned before this), my photography, finding and trying out new restaurants and savouring what is going to be my last year in Cape Town for a long time.

 

 

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Life

10 Things I have learnt this week

1. Root canal is not fun. Not one bit.

2. I can now swim freestyle – it is possible to surf but not know how to swim.

3. At some point you have to take a stand even if it means making an enemy.

4. Finally putting a face to a name is cool.

5. Sometimes I actually crave chocolate.

6. Tooth ache is a bitch.

7. I hate writing when I am forced to write.

8. Cyclists have nice asses.

9. Listening to a 2 year old white jewish girl singing “Nkosi Sikelel’ iAfrika” was the cutest thing I heard this year.

10. Pool chemicals can ‘eat’ a bathing costume.

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