My new word for seeing the comedy in horror movies. Because it is kinda hilarious and predictable the things people get up to in slasher films. So here is a list of not-to-do’s if you suspect you are going to be the next victim:
Do not take a bath or shower ever, statistics has proven 99.9% of deaths occur in the bathroom. The choice is yours, do you wanna smell good or do you wanna live?
Do not sneak off to a deserted area with your significant other for a make out session or quickie – one of you will die. Get a room like normal people.
Do not park your car on the basement level (yes ladies I’m talking to you), do the sensible thing and park on the street in front of a well-lit entrance. In case of emergencies carry with you at all times a working flashlight that can double as a weapon, mace, taser and any other harm inducing item you can think of.
Never under any circumstances walk past the presumed dead body of the killer – he will grab your leg as you try to run away and finish off his job.
If for whatever reason there is a power outage do not go to the basement or attic.
Never wear heels, EVER. It will slow you down.
Graveyards, hospitals and churches are not really safe. Don’t go there.
Trust no-one and confide in no-one, the one person you tell everything to is the killer.
If you hear any strange noises in the house do not under any circumstances walk towards it to find the source instead for your safety and well-being run in the opposite direction as fast as you can.
Stay away from little blonde girls – they are not what they appear to be.
Forewarned is forearmed – be safe.