comedy, Humorous, Life

Murphy’s Law

“If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong” That’s the actual law for those who didnt’ know. No one is exactly sure where it originated from but we all know that at some point in our lives Murphy’s Law has made us curse out loud. A nice variation of this law is “If anything can go wrong, it will be all your fault, and everyone will know it”

It happens to us all on a daily basis.

  • Toast falling on the ground and landing on the buttered side.
  • Choosing the slowest moving queue/lane
  • It does not matter what time you leave the house, you will miss your bus/train.
  • You over sleep on the day that you had to be up early.
  • Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet.
  • When you stop looking for that lost item it will magically appear (yes, you may have wasted hours of your life and ended up replacing ‘lost’ item).
  • When you talk loud to be heard over the music, the music will abruptly stop and everyone will look up to see who is shouting and why.
  • You’ll wear a dress on the windiest day.
  • The amount of damage to your property or belongings is directly proportionate to its value.
  • Whatever you looking for will be in the last/largest pile.
  • When something falls it will be just out of reach.

These are just a few I could think of but don’t worry there is plenty more that could go wrong.

 

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Life, music, TV series

10 things I have learnt this week

1. My hair is long enough for me to braid it.

2. It’s official I need to cleanse, tone and moisturise twice a day.

3. Rap music oh how I have missed you.

4. Life may be a series of serious choices but don’t forget to have fun along the way.

5. Even boys like to gossip.

6. Hard work does eventually get recognised but it is going to take more than a woolies voucher to silence me.

7. A marathon session of Gossip Girl is the perfect cure for a rough week at work.

8. Don’t let others minimise your dreams.

9. Think twice before pigging out on a double large pizza.

10. I’ve been doing internet banking for so long I almost forgot what the inside of bank looks like.

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Humorous, music

Life lessons I learnt from the Spice Girls

Yes, once upon a time when naivety reigned supreme in my world I was a huge spice girl fan. I am not ashamed of this fact. But before you laugh let me share with you some very important life lessons that these 5 girls have taught me.

1. Be unique. Be yourself.

2. Too much of something is bad enough, Too much of nothing is just as tough – Life is about balance

3. Mama I love you, Mama I care – Love and appreciate your mother and tell her that you care about her.

4. Use public transport even though it might not be a large really cool Union Jack bus with toilets and showers.

5. Spice up your life.

6. Women must empower themselves (girl power).

7. It’s ok to snog an alien (read man) once in a while.

8. If you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my friends –  If a man wants to be with you he must accept your friends. (The alternative is creepy – did they mean a man needs to get it on with all your friends?)

9. Be a little wiser baby, put it on, put it on, ‘Cause tonight is the night when two become one – Practise safe sex.

10. Be fearless (scary spice), exercise (sporty spice), don’t forget your inner child (baby spice), make sure always look good (posh spice) and ginger spice (not a good look on anyone, poor Harry).

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Humorous, Life

Don’t you just hate it when…

you start telling a really great story and a friend or colleague comes along and hijacks your story. This is also known as stealing your thunder and it’s generally frowned upon. I’m convinced they can somehow sense/smell when someone is telling a story just so that they can upstage you.

I just want to know why they feel compelled to interrupt you and tell everyone a similiar (apparently better version) of your story. No matter what you say they’ve been there, done that. Even when your story story sounds far-fetched, their story will be in a different reality or quite spossibly an alternate universe. It is impossible to out-do them try as you might.

DISCLAIMER: A word of warning to all thunder stealers out there, I’m watching, I’m waiting and I will not be held responsible if you need to start teething again.

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Humorous, Uncategorized

The weekly mystery of the feng shui maid

Tomorrow is Thursday. Thursday is the day our lovely maid comes to clean our humble abode. It is also the day when the furniture in humble abode is moved. I am beginning to suspect she is really an ancient Chinese master skilled in the arts of Feng Shui.  

Also known as the Chinese Art of Placement, this technique is more than a thousand years old and is used to bring balance to one’s home, business and your surroundings and to promote the different aspects of one’s life. Areas in your life it can improve include health, wealth, family, relationships, career, friends, fame, children, and knowledge.

 So I know when I get home tomorrow certain things in my room will be moved ever so slightly, almost invisible to the naked eye but I am not easily fooled.  Does she do this to unblock negative energy or to make me less lazy? Things will be conveniently out of reach which means I have to lift my ass to get something or I am forced to rearrange things to the way it was, either way she is contributing to my currently non existent exercise routine.  I can deal with these minor changes but why oh why does she move my heater away from my bed to the furthest possible corner? IT’S WINTER, IT’S COLD!! And I do not like getting cold.

Is she trying to tell me something?

I might never find out.

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