Life

Yes. I’m that lazy, and quite possibly a weirdo.

I don’t get all gooey about getting flowers in fact I get quite annoyed when I do. I always let guys know this from the get go so that there are no awkward moments later.

It’s not that I don’t like flowers it’s just that it’s a lot of PT. After receiving flowers I might have to cut the stems, then I need to find a vase fill it will water and put the flowers into it. After that to ensure longevity I need to put life enhancing tablets or liquid into vase to keep flowers fresher for longer. 2 things happen after I receive flowers 1) I give it away or 2) I keep it, put it in vase and promptly thereafter forget about it. 2 weeks later I’ll realise there’s a funny smell hanging in the air and then realise the flowers are rotting away the water has turned green, congealed and wait is that moss?

I’d much rather get a plant but even then I’m not so great at looking after them. When I was given a cactus plant as a gift it still somehow died on me. The one plant that only wants sun and I don’t have to worry about watering it all the time will whither away under my care.

At school when we got those projects to grow a plant from a bean mine barely made a proper attempt at growing, I was really disappointed I watched it for hours (hmm maybe that’s why it didn’t grow). There was one school project that I liked and that was ‘the mouldy bread’ one. My fungus just seemed to flourish and as I happen to have a morbid curiosity for all things gross it was the only school project I enjoyed and that was a success.

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