Humorous, Life

Whatever you sellin’ I ain’t buyin’

Don’t you just hate how lame infomercials are, I mean really now people who buys this stuff?

Top 3 of the most lamest product categories are:

Cooking utensils

For years now we have all been managing very nicely but all sudden we are unable to do basic things like peeling a potato. Your “must-have” products have shown us the error in our ways and we need to remedy it fast. Not only can I now peel my potato but I can also slice, dice and puree it. Amazing my life is now forever changed from this day onwards. I’m also now incapable of baking an egg in my usual pan as your non-stick pan has shown me that I am not meant to burn my food.

Exercise machines

Who needs exercise when you can sit on your couch and strap some electrodes on your stomach give your muscles some shock treatment. I mean less is more right? In a culture and time where people move about less and less this is just the thing we need. And if I call now you’ll thrown in an instruction manual, ha ha ha how hard can it to sit on my couch and while your little machines whittle away my waistline? Every month some new machine “pops’ out of nowhere calling all others before this obsolete.

Cleaning gizmo

I’m so glad you’ve saved me from the misfortune of mopping a spill of the floor. What was I thinking doing it the old school way. And wait that’s not all I’ll also get handy extra little attachments that I can change to clean my windows with. And if you’re getting the mopwhizz you might as well get the vacuum cleaner as well. ‘Cos what’s the point of a vacuum cleaner if it cannot lift a 100 tonne safe and my carpets along with it.

So don’t delay and call today on 1-800-bite-me

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